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Life Ways Prayer for those who struggle with psychological
pain "How can I share the madness tomi Out of Control Too often the catchwords of contemplation are technique, control, and perfection. These neat little states are an impossible goal for someone whose mind simply will not cooperate. "Out of control" is an image more close to their reality. Yet, strangely, when it comes to contemplation, "out of our control" is what we all need to be. We eventually need to surrender all planning and manipulation and realize the contemplative life is only about God loving us. Those who live with illnesses of the mind teach us this. Mildred Duff, co-founder of The Guild of St. Benedict Joseph Labre, a group offering spiritual support for the emotionally troubled and the mentally ill, their family and friends, writes about 100 letters a month to people who write and share with her their struggles and their sufferings. In one letter she expressed her belief in prayer that is "out of our control." She believes that when those with emotional or mental illness can pray, it is God's gift to them. When they can't, it is their gift to God. "Dear Mary Lou, "If words were only hugs you would feel my loving arms around you right now. You must know and remember always that God and his Mother, who is also your mother, love you with a love that surpasses all others. "You, Mary Lou, are her precious child who wears the crown of thorns, and your brother Jesus is suffering with you. "If these words seem too deep to understand right now, just know that Jesus knows what you are feeling now and listen to what Jesus is saying to you: ‘Others don't see Me in you! But you must for I am asking you: Will you wear the crown of thorns with me? Keep your heart and head high for together you and I will offer our suffering to save even those who reject you and me....’ "Yes, Mary Lou, Benedict Joseph Labre will help you wear your "crown of thorns." Ask him for help now that you are a member of the Guild*. Do the best you can, Mary Lou, under your circumstances. Just try!! That is what we ask our members to do and what I must do too. Just try!!" ________________________ John Paul II said, "Christ took all human suffering on himself, even mental illness. Yes, even this affliction, which perhaps seems the most absurd and incomprehensible, configures the sick person to Christ and gives him or her a share in Christ's passion." In Gethsemane, the night before he died, just moments before his arrest, Jesus’ prayer was simple abandonment to his Father. I would imagine, though images of what lay before him forced their way into his imagination, he struggled to stay focused, repeating again and again to his Father, "Not my will but your will be done." This, too, is the struggle of those who suffer with the various illnesses of the human mind—the endless attempts at capturing the mind and tying it down, and the resigned repetition of a simple plea. This is a model of contemplation. Try this prayer exercise: St. Gregory Nazianzus wrote these words during a time when he found it anxiety crowding out any space for prayer in his soul: "The breath of life, O Lord, seems spent. If this is happening to you, try these forms of prayer and contemplative love: 1. Time may be against you, but for those moments while you’re opening your heart, picture Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. What do you see? Try to be there with him. Sense the evening air, feel the cold darkness. See Jesus on his knees struggling in prayer. What do you want to say to him? Offer that prayer now. 2. Try to find a quiet place. Put on some soothing music. Keep it soft and gentle. Take a few deep breaths—hold each one for a few seconds and slowly let the air out. Relax. Feel the chair you’re sitting on, your feet on the floor. Feel the scents around the room. Picture Jesus coming towards you with a smile. Tell him how you are feeling right now—anxious, uncomfortable, fidgety, distracted, wanting to focus. Tell him what things are like for you today. Open your heart to him. Feel his presence very close to you. Let his love into your heart. Thank him for this gift. 3. Go for a walk. Take some pleasant music with you. As you go, notice the sky, feel the season. Recognize what is around you. Feel at home right now. Offer your heart to Jesus, even if your pain is deep. Though you may be alone on your walk, Jesus is in your heart. Tell him what you see....the beauty around you. Tell him how you feel...even if it is dark. Remember he wants you to tell him everything in your life...joys and pains. 4. Call to mind someone else you know who’s hurting or sick. Focus for a few minutes on what that person may be feeling and what you would like to say to them. Lift them up by name to Jesus and ask him to bless them. 5. Hold a crucifix in your hands. Close your eyes and think of the hurting Jesus. Join your sufferings to his in his act of redemption. 6. If you’re feeling low, in a quiet place take your Bible in your hands. Read Psalm 130 or focus on a phrase of it. Embrace how you feel, even if it’s uncomfortable. Know that God is loving you through these moments of darkness. 7. When you are absolutely unable to focus, your mind going a mile a minute, try to remember and pray the words, "My God, I love you." Open yourself to his love. 8. Turn on soft music. Read this Bible verse over and over while thinking about it: "My God, my God, why have you forgotten me?" (cf. Mark 15:34) It is Jesus’ own prayer of emptiness and abandonment. 9. When you pass by your local church, stop in for a few minutes. Pause and connect with the One who loves you. 10. If you can’t get up, lay still on your bed and repeat the name of Jesus over and over and over. His love catches these words and embraces you with love. Jesus Suffering with Us In contemplation we immerse ourselves in God in the present moment. For specific seconds we turn to him through pain and confusion, through despair and desperation. We create a schedule that provides space to succeed in daily living. In that challenge we come to see the God of Love in each moment. Thoughts, a whisper, a cry in anguish—all echo a life of contemplation. The interior havoc of emotional illness is often beyond explanation and hard to convey even to friends and close confidants. But the fact that God is there in the midst of chaos, suffering with those in anguish, is a lifeline. Suffering with them is Jesus, the abandoned Child on the Cross. Jesus has hoped for us. When it is impossible to hold on to a thought or prayer, Jesus is praying, contemplating in us. Jesus’ trust in powerlessness reached its climax in his crucifixion. Suspended between heaven and earth on the Cross, he could do nothing but pray. His obedience to the Father leaped forward into total abandonment and trust. Jesus Crucified is the example of prayer for those who can hold their thoughts together for only moments at a time. In a powerlessness lived with Jesus’ powerlessness on the cross, there is strength. This is contemplation. Day by day, moment by moment, groping in the darkness, we are not alone. Jesus is struggling with us. He is there feeling it all. Nothing goes unnoticed by him or his Father. Through Jesus’ Spirit who is in us we can find a little peace. Years later, my friend shared with me a moving poem that had become her prayer. "You’ve opened my life *Information on the Guild of St. Benedict Joseph Labre can be obtained by sending a letter or request to PO Box 200, Buzzards Bay, MA 02532.
Copyright © 1999-2003, Daughters of St. Paul. All Rights Reserved.
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