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Life Ways Spirituality for Women
IN A HURRY Let's be honest. People of the twentieth century are in a hurry, and women aren't an exception. It is easy to desire instant success: success in business, in love, in achieving oneness with God--now! The neon promises to the hurrier allure all of us at one time or another into a hurried and harried lifestyle. The world, let's face it, isn't going to slow down. We can't get off. We may have to hurry alot if we are going to drop children off on time for soccer practice and dance recitals, deliver a forgotten lunch at school, please a boss to keep a job, cook that special dinner for a husband or friend.... But "hurried" doesn't necessarily have to become "harried." Walter Hilton, a fourteenth century English mystic, has much to say to the Catholic woman in search of spiritual growth and focus in a 20th century lifestyle. This Augustinian Canon of the priory of Thurgarton in Nottinghamshire is a writer of insight, deep faith, and so essential for the present; he is a man of moderation, or, as he would describe it, "discretion." His spirituality could be described as a spirituality of logic and common sense. His book, The Scale of Perfection, not only opens the doors to a happier, fuller life, but develops a path to God that sanctifies and blesses every aspect of our being and of our lives. The poet Rilke once said that as the sublime unfolds in us, "something in us starts going its own way and getting used to heavens." Hilton would agree; he never separates who we are from who we are in relationship with God and with others. He never praises the contemplative life at the expense of the active life. One might be tempted to think, Walter Hilton lived in a monastery--undisturbed, lost in contemplation, with few cares and concerns. He spent his days in a society that was deeply Christian. What would he know about our whirlwind life-style today? It is true that Hilton wrote The Scale of Perfection in a time when Europe was deeply religious. Faith was within the hearts of the people. Faith influenced art, literature and music. England itself was a land of faith. Its literary geniuses produced Piers Plowman and Canterbury Tales. Chaucer may have laughed at the foibles of nuns and friars, but he himself accepted the established religion with an unquestioning spirit. However, it is important to refresh ourselves on other aspects of the historical matrix within which Hilton was writing. It was the time of the Great Schism. The Hundred Years' War was raging. There was a Peasants' Revolt in 1381 when Wat Tyler captured London. In the midst of this turmoil (a little reminiscent of our own day), Walter Hilton was writing The Scale of Perfection, preaching a spirituality of moderation and discretion: he encouraged his readers to think more about God, or Christ, than about the sin or sinful situations one is trying to overcome, thus leaving God free to break down sin. Here are some secrets that the Scale of Perfection offers us as antidotes for the turmoil, confusion and freneticism in which we may find themselves immersed today. First Slowdown--Here's Why Frances, balancing a whirlwind tour of parish advisory meetings, Cub Scouts, rosary making club meetings, Legion of Mary, PTA, CCD classes while trying to be homemaker, wife, mother, and caretaker of her own mother, burned up a lot of calories. But that wasn't all she burned up. Walter Hilton advises the Christian caught up in life's rat-race and concerned that spirituality is slowly slipping through her fingers...slow down. The whole tone of The Scale of Perfection is subtle, quiet, almost serene. There is no haste, no panic, no frustration, but a continuing journey to union with the Lord. Hilton says, "One thing is left to me to desire: that I might forget all the things that are behind or backward, always stretching forward with my heart to feel and grasp the supreme reward of eternal glory. Behind are all bodily things, ahead are all spiritual things; and therefore St. Paul wanted to forget all material things, and his own body as well, so that he could see the things of the Spirit" (Book 1:13, 87). The dizzying merry-go-round of duties that fill our days can't distract us from what ultimately matters: the one thing left to us to desire, "always stretching forward with my heart to feel and grasp the supreme reward of eternal glory." This attraction quiets and deepens our spirit, and makes us disciples not of the world's demands, but of the Spirit emerging within us. Relax and Enjoy the Work Sometimes "having a spiritual life" can be akin to submitting yourself to a cacophany of legalistic voices and practices. Karen's face betrayed her frustration. The more things she knew she should be doing to "do what God expected of her," the less able she was to do them all perfectly. From being annoyed at herself, she slipped into a low-grade depression, becoming less and less able to live a relaxed and gracious lifestyle. Walter Hilton is not a man of such extremes. There are no hard, unchangeable rules in The Scale. Hilton wants to make the road to God as wide as possible. He makes the work of drawing closer to God attractive and possible for more people. Hilton's spirituality of moderation makes unnecessary detailed and intricate explanations of how much one should pray, how much one should sleep, drink or eat. His moderation and discretion in reaching God allows for flexibility in private applications and directions. "You must know," Walter Hilton writes in The Scale, "that a turning of the body to God, not followed by the heart, is only a figure and likeness of virtues, and not the reality. Therefore any man or woman is wretched who neglects all the inward keeping of the self in order to fashion only an outward form and semblance of holiness, in dress, in speech, and in bodily actions; observing the deeds of others and judging their faults; considering himself to be something when he is nothing at all; and so deceiving himself. Do not behave like that, but turn your heart together with your body first of all to God, and fashion yourself within to his likeness, through humility and charity and other spiritual virtues; and then you will truly have turned to him" (Book 1:1, 77). In other words, Walter Hilton would say to Karen, "If you can't enjoy being a Christian, why be one at all?" Having a list of "shoulds" in our lives, eventually causes us to compile a list of "shoulds" for others. God calls us, instead, to a radical interior conversion of heart in which we dismantle the demands we make on ourselves and others. It is a risk to believe in a God who loves us. Scripture says in many places, God dances for joy over us. We don't need to clench our teeth and squeeze Christ-likeness out of forced acts of virtue. By our very Baptism, we can open ourselves up to God in faith. Through a concrete acceptance of his challenge to love, the gifts of the Spirit emerge in us, take root, take over, and lift up our entire being in love. Although it gives us a greater feeling of security to be able to chalk up spiritual victories, we walk more quickly to God when we abandon our fears and relax, trusting him like a child. Take Care of Yourself There is a beautiful sensibleness in Hilton's teachings. To women like Linda, who are all work and no play in the kingdom of the Lord, he says that what is ultimately important is getting to God. He tells his readers to eat and sleep and drink so that lack of these will not hinder the love of God. What feels comfortable to us should be utilized in getting closer to God. That may mean "indulging" in that bubble bath you've been putting off, getting away with your spouse for an evening together, getting to bed a little earlier so you can read a favorite book. If one is hungry, or tired, or thirsty, then one can forget about moving closer to God. By taking care of our needs, we actually foster our ultimate union with God. On the Trail of the Divine It is only by becoming comfortable with her own humanity that a woman can even begin to think of developing a healthy spirituality and the contemplation of God which is its goal. Deepening her own femininity and sense of self, a woman discovers the God within who created, redeemed and sanctifies her. She finds God walking personally through her life. This foundation leads to a growing thirst for God. In the first book of The Scale of Perfection, Walter Hilton describes the way in which contemplation is attained. One begins with a desire for God. He writes, "A hound that runs after the hare only because he sees other hounds running will rest when he is tired, and turn back; but if he runs because he sees the hare, he will not flag for weariness until he has it. It is just the same spiritually. If anyone has a grace, however, small, and...works with such grace as he has while humbly and persistently desiring more, and later feels his heart stirred to follow the grace which he has desired: he can safely run, provided he keeps humility. And therefore desire from God as much as you can--without moderation or discretion--of all that belongs to his love and the bliss of heaven, for whoever knows how best to desire from God shall have the most feeling of him" (Book I: 42, 112). Hilton says we seek God within ourselves, but the first effect will be disappointing. We will discover the image of sin and not God. Many who make a serious effort to lead a spiritual life discover this image of sin and think it a bad sign. Actually, however, it is a positive one. It means the real work of turning to God has begun. The Scale of Perfection reads, "Perhaps you are beginning to consider what this image could be like, and therefore, to save you from studying it at length, I tell you...it is nothing. If you wish to find Jesus you should suffer the pain of this nothing, and stay awhile in the darkness, and stand up in your thought against this same nothing by means of diligent prayer to God and fervent desire to him, as if you wanted to overthrow it and go through it. You shall abhor and loathe this same nothing like the devil of hell, and you shall despise it and break it in pieces; for right inside this nothing Jesus is hidden in his joy, and you cannot find him by your seeking unless you pass through the darkness of this nothing" (Book I 53-54, 124f). In this journey toward God, Hilton is never in a hurry for success. He tells his readers there is going to be difficulty in progression to God, but Jesus is there to assist us. The ability to enter into contemplation is in proportion to the gift of grace. It is a journey which takes time and much faith in the power of grace and the sacraments. In Book Two, Hilton speaks about this faith that is the deciding factor on our path to contemplation, "This reforming stands in faith and not in feeling, for just as the property of faith is to believe what you do not see, so it is to believe what you do not feel.... He cannot see it, but he shall believe it; and if he believes it, his soul is then reformed in faith" (Book II: 8, 203). Uncovering God's Face As The Scale of Perfection unfolds, Hilton divides contemplation into ascending degrees. The first degree consists in the knowledge of God and spiritual matters which can be attained by reason. The second degree consists principally in the act of love. It includes a lower stage and a higher stage. The lower stage is accessible to all Christians and is the normal effect of living a good Christian life in God's grace. The higher stage is that of great tranquility of body and soul and peace of heart. Those arrive at this level who "continually pray, keeping their minds on the Lord." The words "continually pray" can be frightening or exasperating for any of us living in this fast-paced society. Yet in this invitation to let our spirits cry out to God each day is the promise of real peace-filled living, even amidst the dirty diapers and the teenage tempers. If people take twenty minutes every morning to practice relaxation techniques in order to procure peace of mind, if business corporates take time every day to turn in on themselves solely to increase their business potential through personal wholeness, then this invitation to a deep experience of God through continual prayer is not a burden, but a grace. Continual prayer begins with a couple of periods daily set aside for silence, reading, nature walks, gazing at sunsets or stars, or journaling. Faithfulness to these "prayer-breaks" with the Lord eventually unfolds into spiritual attentiveness. After a while we hear God praying deep within us: the Spirit groaning in words that can be understood only by the Father. Slowly, this praying that we allow to ceaselessly reverberate in our hearts pervades every task we perform, ever situation we encounter, every emotion we experience. We don't have to know what is being said. We simply have to say "yes," to the work of God within us. The third level of contemplation, that of perfect contemplation, enlightens the soul by the grace of the Holy Spirit and causes it to taste the first fruits of the heavenly life. Get Ready for the Long Haul The Second Book of The Scale of Perfection develops the image of the night. This night lies between two days--the day of this world's love and the day of the perfect love of Jesus. "But this is a good night and a luminous darkness," Hilton believes, "for it is shutting out of the false love of the world, and it is drawing near to the true day. And certainly the darker this night is, the nearer is the true day of the love of Jesus, since the more the soul can be hidden from the noise and din of carnal affections and unclean thoughts, through longing for God, the nearer it is to feeling the light of the love of him, for it is almost there.... Do not be heavyhearted and do not strive too hard...but wait for grace, bear this quietly, and do not break yourself too much" (Book II: 24, 236). The way through the night is difficult, but one is not alone. Jesus is always there. The road is hard, but Walter Hilton encourages the follower of Jesus not to get discouraged. "Light shall arise for you in darkness, that is, you that truly forsake the light of all worldly love and hide your thought in this darkness, the light of blessed love and spiritual knowing of God shall rise upon you" (Book II: 27, 246). In the turmoil of our day, Walter Hilton is a voice saying discretion and moderation are essential to living a godly life, a good spiritual life needs wise direction, do not allow one's relationship with God to be obscured by the means of getting to him. According to Walter Hilton, persons differ according to aptitudes, needs, and in the amount of grace they possess. The spiritual life is best nurtured when the seeker is gentle with herself, patient in her weakness, confident in God's love for her, and able to let the journey unfold in its own time. "If you then want to know what this desire is, it is in truth Jesus, for he makes this desire in you, and he gives it to you, and he it is that desires in you, and he it is that is desired: he is all, if you could see him. You do nothing, but allow him to work in your soul and consent to him, with great gladness of heart that he vouchsafes to do this in you."
Copyright © 1999-2003, Daughters of St. Paul. All Rights Reserved.
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